Hippiekid is 10 today. We had the party and the whole shebang (yeah, I grew up in Oklahoma where we say things like that, try to live with it). Once again, his friends brought gifts to donate to the animal shelter. It is his birthday tradition I guess. I think this is the 5th year for it. I intend to just drive by and throw them out the window this year. We have enough pets of our own now (both aquired from this animal shelter).
I have a birhday tradition of my own, for his birthday. Since I was not the one actually birthing him 10 years ago I always think of his birthmother on this day and the days leading up to it. My feelings for her are so numerous and so intense and often confusing and conflicting. I love the son we have both created more than I could ever explain. He is so totally and completely my own perfect son, and yet he was hers first. It is a weird feeling. I have grown a son in my body and I have lost him to death, so I know first hand the feelings, both physical and emotional, involved. My tradition is that every year on his birthday I post a poem to his birthmother. I have posted to bulletin boards and other places in cyberland. Last year my blog was still pretty new and I posted it here for the first time. (I did not write it and I don't know who did. A friend sent it to me years ago.) Here it is again.
A BIRTHDAY
It's my child's birthday
He just went dashing by
His eyes are sparkling with the excitement meant only for today.
Presents, kisses, hugs, cake, ice cream
It all seems so natural.
It's a day of looking back and looking forward.
It's my child's birthday
But there is something different happening inside me.
This should be a day of complete joy
A day for Thanksgiving
But in the midst of all this excitement
I pause, because my thoughts are about someone else for a time.
It's my child's birthday
I have no memories of his life growing inside me
and fighting to be released.
Another someone was there
Another someone suffered for my joy.
It's my child's birthday
But someone, somewhere, is feeling emptiness inside.
I'm sure she is wondering
Who he looks like
If he is big or small.
Wondering if he laughs much.
It's my child's birthday
And in the midst of this blessed day that was given to me
I have a prayer...
Oh God, that I may never forget
that someone suffered so much to give life to my child.
That someone loved my child so very much
that she gave him the right to live.
May I never forget for a moment
and especially now, today, to offer a prayer of thanks
for that someone
and that you, dear God, will always be there for that someone to help her
through the hurts she will have
when she stops to think that today is "my child's birthday."
Thank you, whoever and wherever you are.
What a beautiful tradition and a lovely poem. He's a lucky kid. Happy Birthday Hippie Kid!!
Posted by: Blog Antagonist | December 03, 2007 at 05:53 AM
I loved this. As a birthmom, it was wonderful to read. Thank you very, very much.
Happy 10th to your special son. My heart goes out to you in the midst of your joy and loss. Those mixed emotions are hard to deal with - I'm glad you shared this.
Posted by: mischief | December 03, 2007 at 08:23 AM
Happy b-day to Hippiekid!!!
Posted by: jody | December 03, 2007 at 09:37 AM
AA--The kid sort of looks like you in this picture...that's so weird!
Happy b-day to your boy, and love to his two mothers.
Posted by: Michele | December 03, 2007 at 07:23 PM
happy days without end to both of you! love from all of us
Posted by: chris | December 03, 2007 at 08:14 PM
Hey! thanks for dropping by and leaving a comment - I get mostly lurkers, so its special that you stopped, dropped, and wrote.
I really liked the idea of donating stuff to an animal shelter instead of presents - might just have to swipe that idea in the future.
The poem was also a really sweet idea - it made me cry to read it. I bet you're a wonderful mom - am I too old to be adopted by you?!
Posted by: we_be_toys | December 05, 2007 at 12:58 PM